Bribes

Joe drove me to work this morning in his new car, a cute 3-door RAV-4 he bought last week with the help of our Tanzanian friend Billy. We have named the car “Ralph.”

Driving in this country requires knowing the tricks of the trade; not only to drive on the “correct” side of the road and car, but how to navigate the system, such as knowing where not to drive at night, keeping the number of a mechanic with you at all times, and dealing with cops when they pull you over.

Joe was pulled over twice last week. The first time was his lesson learned for what not to do: the cop saw him talking on his cell phone, motioned him over, and told him that they had just passed legislation, taking effect “tomorrow,” whereby drivers couldn’t talk on their cell phone. He told Joe to let him into the car so they could “discuss” this, and asked for his license. He then told Joe to meet him under a bridge (which he could do since he had his license) and asked for a bribe (50,000 shillings).

Rule #1: Do not make eye contact (we both wear sunglasses in the car now and I do my best to keep a poker face passing through check points…)
Rule #2: Do not let them into your car
Rule #3: Do not give anyone your real license (just a copy)
Rule #4: Do not give anyone more than 5,000 shillings

It’s ridiculous that they get away with this stuff on a daily basis, and that bribes are this commonplace. In Zanzibar this weekend, our taxi ride to and from the beach town included money for bribes, which even the local drivers couldn’t get out of paying.

Joe was adamant not to let it happen again to the magnitude of 50,000 shillings, and when he got pulled over the next day, the cop demanded to be let in, and so Joe guilt tripped him the entire way to the station, saying “I am doing good work here. This is very bad. You should feel very guilty. I am helping 45,000 people gain access to healthcare. Tsk tsk tsk.” And the cop, thinking he was a doctor, let him off for free.